The Escape of the Rabid Plot Bunny
by Faber Wolffe
Summary: The first in the Midnight Serise. What happens when bad fanfiction writers let the plot bunnies roam wild?


The Escape of the Rabid Plot Bunny Issue 1 of the Midnight Fan-Fic Serise By as much as I hate to admit it the very sleep deprived and painfilled due to the recent removal of my wisdom teeth: Faber Wolffe I don't own anything, that make you happy? Okay to be specific I don't own Harry Potter, The Vampire Cronicles, Star Wars, The Matrix, Marvel Comics or anything else copyrighted!!  
  
  
  
"What the bloody hell?" Severus Snape exclaimed. Rubbing his eyes to make sure he was not being deceived, after all it was nearly three in the morning, and he had been under a good deal of stress lately but surely his demented mind would have come up with something a bit more horrific than what he was seeing if he was hallucinating. There sitting happy as could be thank-you-very-much, was a rather large pink fluffy rabbit directly in the center of a pure silver cauldron. Not quite believing his eyes Snape reached into the cauldron and touched the rabbit, which promptly tried to bite him. Jerking his hand back, Snape suddenly heard a commotion outside of his very high and should have been impossible to reach castle window, the distinctive sound of someone climbing in. Reaching outside, grabbing hold of someone's wrist, and then pulling out his wand, Snape stood over the twenty-something sandy haired boy he had just pulled inside who looked as bewildered as himself. "Who are you?" they both demanded although in very different tones. The blonde boy smiled and putting his chrome rod thing (what ever it was) back on his belt, extended a hand. "My name's Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight." "Severus Snape," Snape said but did not take the boy's hand. "Now, answer me this. How did you get to my window at three in the morning?" "I'm not sure," said Luke Sky-whatever-his-name-was, very contemplatively. "Three-pi-o just told me, 'Follow the pink rabbit,' and I did and here I am." "Uh-huh," Snape said not really comprehending any of what this boy was saying, but suddenly Snape was once again distracted by something outside of his window, and nearly screamed like an adolescent girl cheerleader, upon seeing two young faces with long hair and dressed in black peering in at him. Both of whom began to crawl into the room as if gravity held no rules for them, and they were followed, much more aquwardly however by a green-eyed man similarly dressed. The blonde of the trio looked around and then turning to an auburn haired youth exclaimed, "This is why, I'm the one who does the flying! Look! You got us lost again, Armand!" Suddenly though he looked back up at Luke and Snape. "I'm sorry, we'll be going now." "Wait," Luke cried, he seemed transfixed by the trio, and even Snape couldn't help but be somewhat interested by these young pale-faced creatures. "What are your names?" Luke continued. "I've never felt presences like this in the Force before." Snape was really starting to think that this Luke kid was insane. The blonde man however stopped yelling at the little cherubim looking boy next to him and gave Luke what would have been a charming smile. had Snape not noticed the nearly inch-long eye teeth. "I apologize, gentlemen, this idiot is Armand," he said pointing to the redhead again. "Mi mon cher, over there is Louis, and I am Lestat de Lioncourt." "Vampires," Snape breathed, this overload of information finally starting to click and he took several steps backward as Lestat turned his bright hungry blue gaze towards him. "Oui," he answered in French smiling, charmingly, and dangerously. "Don't even think about it," Snape warned, not letting his gaze falter again. "Don't worry. I've already fed tonight," he answered, but then paused looking at his company. "They haven't though." "Lestat," Louis warned and placed a pale hand on his shoulder, "I just want to go back to Rio, let's go. We won't bother these mortals any longer." "Fine, you and Armand go on. I'll catch up in a few nights." "No, Lestat." "Then stay, mon cher, there are hundreds of mortals here and rats too if you wish for a change." There was suddenly however the sound of metal being scraped against metal and a short, black haired man came out from behind a corner. He raised a fist apparently ready to strike anyone who came too close when the Luke kid reached out. "It's okay! Before you do anything, answer me this. Did you just randomly show up here without any intention of leaving where you just were?" The older man nodded, obviously suspicious and confused. "Okay then, well, the same this has happened to us. What's your name?" "Logan." The man answered lowering his fist and relaxing very slightly. "Or Wolverine if you want." "Okay, Logan, my name is Luke, and they're Severus, Lestat, Armand, and Louis," the boy paused and looking at the other people in the room asked. "Right?" The others nodded. "Okay, then lets see if we can figure any of this out."  
  
An hour later the group was no closer than before, and three others had been added to their number. One man introduced himself as "Special Agent Fox Mulder". The other two, although Snape recognized them he was at a loss to explain it. The two that showed up later were a sixteen year old Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. "Okay," Severus said, rubbing his temples. "There has to be some connection here. Where is everyone one here from?" "Washington, D.C." "London." "Scotland." "Canada." "Russia." "France." "New Orleans." "Tatooine." Snape cocked an eyebrow, and reminded himself that it was probably better not to ask in the case of Luke Skywalker, who had taken to walking around the room with no apparent purpose, being closely followed by Mulder who kept asking the Luke-boy questions about things that were apparently creatures Snape had never heard of, he also seemed to have the annoying habit of examining absolutely ever thing he came into contact with. "Okay. um." Severus continued to try and think. "Severus?" Fox asked. "What?!" "Um. you don't strike me as the soft and fuzzy type, so may I ask why there's a rabbit in this bowl thing?" "It's a cauldron! And I don't know! I found it five seconds before Luke tried to climb through my window." "Rabbit?" Sirius said, suddenly and he and Remus jumped up to examine the creature, however the trio of vampires beat them to the chase. Louie whispered, "I drank from a rabbit that looked like that before we left." "Me and Remus were chasing that thing towards the wholmping willow when we wound up here!" "Mystic took on the form of a rabbit before I got here." "Perhaps the truth lies in the constellation Rigel also known as the rabbit constellation which Orion and Sirius hunt through the sky." "But I don't know anyone named Orion!" Sirius interjected. "Sirius as in the Dog Star! Not you! Aliens come from the sky damn it!" Mulder explained looking extremely ticked off that no one could follow a word he was saying. "Then that's it!" Luke said. "What ever it is about this rabbit, it's why we're all here!" "So how do you propose we get you people back home, Mr. Jedi?" Snape asked. "I have no idea." Luke said, and much to Snape's anger, he did not appear at all upset about the situation. Just as Mulder had put on a pair of dragon hide gloves however, fully prepared to do an autopsy of the rabbit and as Snape prepared a poison for the creature, grinning as if this were going to be the most entertaining thing he had done in a while, they all heard it, the sound of hurried barefoot footfalls coming down the stairs towards the room. Logan unleashed a threes-some of steel-looking metal claws. Then around the corner came running a young girl wearing silver- framed glasses and her long brown hair was very, very askew, not to mention she was the most oddly dressed of all of them in a tie-dye t-shirt bearing the slogan "Arts Parts 2002" in purple lettering and a pair of very baggy black shorts that reached her knees. Scooping up the large rabbit that did not attempt to bite her she pushed her glasses back up her nose closer to her dark brown eyes. "I'm really sorry!!" she began, trying to drag the rabbit away. "I was only half awake and this one must have just run away with my imagination! And." She paused looking around at all the men present, "Oh God," and she turned nearly as pink as the rabbit she was carrying, "I'm really, really, sorry," she said again and continued to drag the rabbit away, which was practically foaming at the mouth now trying to escape. "What's your name?" Luke called. "I've got too many to name! You'd probably call me Faber though," she said, nearly getting to the door. "How are we supposed to get back to where we were?" Logan called. "I'll work it out! I promise! Just hang on a few minutes," and she finally managed to scoop up the rabbit fully. "What the hell does that rabbit have to do with it?" Snape finally managed to ask before the girl was too far around the corner to not hear him anymore. "Just a rabid plot bunny!" she called back. "But I've got a leash on him now!" And suddenly, Snape was by himself again. Collapsing into a chair Snape shook his head, "Damn fanfic writers."  
  
The End  
  
Moral: Most plot bunnies are too young to be out wandering on their own, be sure that they're at least a slight bit mature on plot. 


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